Please know that these are MY thoughts and only MY opinions. I have MANY amazing, breath-taking friends that are role models to me in all their mommy ways. I have some of the most Godly friends ever, and I strive to love like them daily. They are some of the most jam up amazing stay at home moms in the world. And hey... I was raised by one of the best SAHMs ever.
This post is why I, personally, intend to go back to work after the birth of our child(ren). I know it will be a very unpopular post. I am OK with everyone not agreeing with my feelings. I just ask that you respect my opinion and don't email me with an anonymous comment that is full of hate. Just hear me out.
I fully understand that it is nearly impossible to make opinions and claim strong feelings on such a topic while Baby Cain is still inside of me and going to work with me daily. I 100% KNOW that it will be nearly impossible to send my sweet baby to someone else for the first time when that time comes. I have chills thinking about how that time will be here before I know it. The reason for this post in writing so early in the process is because I KNOW I will need to reflect on my feelings when that time comes. I KNOW I will need to remember the WHY.
I should also say that these current feelings and opinions would without a doubt change in an instant for any medical reason, or any reason at all that meant Baby Cain (one, two, three, or twenty three) absolutely needed me full time.
Here are my feelings on why I intend to go back to work.
First of all, let's completely remove finances from the topic. Would it be very hard to raise a family, run a household, and live exactly (or better) than we do now on one income? Yes. However, I KNOW it can be done with discipline. Without a doubt it can be done and is done by so many people I know and love. They are all rock stars and truly amazing in my eyes. With this being said, I will remove this from the equation. Finances are not an issue, and absolutely NOT the reason for this post. So again, finances are not the reason.
I am a teacher. When I went to kindergarten, I fell in love with school. Kindergarten was my first ever school experience because my mom was a SAHM. I loved school. When I went to third grade, I fell in love with teaching. My teacher was the absolute best. I remember it like it was yesterday. She said, "I will teach you how to multiply, and you won't even know you're multiplying." That year I mastered my multiplication facts without even trying. She was the absolute best. I don't see a watermelon without thinking of her still to this day. (This was her fave and classroom theme.)
I have always loved school. I have been the kid that hates to miss school, and would be there every single day. I would NEVER sleep the night before the first day, and I look forward to returning from Christmas break. When I was in middle school I remember thinking, "How can I go to school forever?" Coach would say that I have done pretty pretty darn good at this... I know he feels like he is always editing my papers. Ha!
Here is a little background knowledge: Now to jump to my late high school and early college years and enter the love of making money. (Promise to keep finances out of this... hear me out.) I have always had a job. Working concession stands, umpiring, babysitting, camp counselor, Kitchen Collection, JCrew, afterschool, working for a mechanic, and then finally, teaching. I have always worked. Always. When we first started dating Coach would be all like, "We can never go out on a date because you are always working!" Many many times he would pick me up from Kitchen Collection to go out to eat. He would even pick up a few umpiring games so we could hang out together at the field. (Has anything changed?) I have always worked.
Now I know 100% that I am exactly where I need to be. I am where God wants me to be. I am fulfilling my calling and using the talents He gave me in the classroom. I was made to be a teacher.
I am going to return to my classroom in November because I NEED to know that I am using my God given talents. I NEED to feel the accomplishments of student's growing and learning. I thrive to see student growth in data. I just need that feeling of accomplishment to be who I am. I run off of success. I am kinda guilty of thriving off of seeing others be successful.
One of my (many) favorite parts of my marriage is that we are both in the education field. That is who makes Coach and Carley... Coach and Carley. I know when I need a push, or a pat on the back.. my husband gets it. I NEED to keep this connection. Many of my friends are also in the same field. We have a bond that is formed from our classrooms. I NEED to keep this connection. I NEED to be Carley. I absolutely cannot wait to be Mommy. I pray daily that I never EVER forget who Carley is. I fear forgetting who you are is the reason behind so many problems today. (No way/ no how saying all SAHMs forget who they are...) My point is that Carley thrives on being a part of many things, being a part of success and growth. Carley needs that.
Tonight at dinner we were discussing our philosophy on teaching. (Do normal marriages do this?) My philosophy is that I have an active role in growing our society's future. I want to make sure we give children an education that will help them grow into leaders. Our society SO SO SO needs some strong active members! I want to be part of that growth! In my classroom I know I have a part.
Just the other day I told Coach I was hanging on by a thread and I was going to take a day off. He laughed and said, "Ha! That isn't you! You'll go!" I went. Even on the most stressful days, I personally NEED my classroom. I should probably note that I am posting this at the end of the school year. Every teacher, administrator, and student is a wee bit frazzled. The end is near. The much needed break from academics is just what we all need to come back refreshed and ready for another year of growth.
Now, let's add the other part of my job: Being Coach's wife, and being a coach myself.
Remember when I said I love seeing others being successful? I can't put into words the feeling I get when I see a kid run across the finish line and check their arms where they will find their personal best time and then check the clock... and when it hits that they just KILLED a PR. Gah. Favorite. Feeling. EVER!! Or when a girl makes a lay-up on a fast break and puts our team up by one with a minute left to go in a game. OR EVEN BETTER..... when I watch my husband on the field fulfilling HIS dreams. Being a part of these moments... well.... best. part. of. my. job. If I leave coaching, I will miss. miss. miss. miss these feelings. I NEED these feelings. I NEED to see this growth and success of others.
Our busy schedules are prayed about daily. We pray we never do too much that it keeps us from being 100%. I pray that Baby Cain grows up seeing us working hard and giving our 100%. I pray that Baby Cain sees Mommy and Daddy using the talents God gave is in a positive way. I pray we pass the drive to want to work on to Baby Cain.
I live by this: "Be strong and courageous; for your work will be rewarded."
The final word:
Be where God wants you to be to glorify HIM. That is different for so many people. Not one person should judge you for where you feel this place is. Just whatever you do, do it 100%!Romans 12:6-8 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.
1 Peter 4:10-11 Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God’s various gifts of grace.
source: http://biblereasons.com/talents/
Love love,
C^2
No comments:
Post a Comment